Becoming Real – In a Virtual World

Virtual Reality is an oxymoron. There are things that are virtual, and things that are real. There is nothing in virtual that is real. Things that are virtual are not real, they are fake, made-up, fraud, deception, or just representations of reality. The real thing is so much better than what is in a book or movie.

Watching the Normandy invasion in Saving Private Ryan from the safety of your living room is not the same as being in that battle. Reading about a sexual encounter, watching sex on your phone, or even masturbation is not the same as connecting with someone you love. Seeing and smelling the food at a great restaurant is not the same as eating there. I have assisted in over two hundred deliveries, but I don’t know what it’s like to have a baby because I have never experienced it. Human beings cannot understand what we don’t experience. We must feel the whole variety of human experiences to live, learn, grow, and understand.

We can sometimes be in the experience and not understand it. I had a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the Harbor General Hospital in Los Angeles whom the students and residents called The Dragon Lady. She felt it was her duty to teach all doctors about abortions and birth control so no unwanted child would ever be born. I told her I did not want to participate in abortions so she tricked me by telling me to go into a D&C procedure. During the procedure I felt dark, depressed, and grief, like a loss. I didn’t know why until I saw a tiny arm going through the clear plastic suction tube. Then I knew what it felt like to abort a baby. We didn’t talk about it; nobody said anything. We just filed out of the room after the procedure and wrote down all the stats — just check the boxes. Blood loss, sponges, heart rate, blood pressure… numbers. That’s how we deal with feelings.

On the other hand, I also experienced the deliveries of many beautiful babies. The joy that is felt at the delivery is palpable. Everyone smiles, even the nurse assistant walking past the room starts to smile, and doesn’t even know why. The Dragon Lady did not smile. She probably didn’t even feel the joy of birth, nor did she feel the grief of abortion. She was numb, dead, a zombie. She used drugs to manipulate her feelings.

There are all sorts of drugs to imitate real experiences. Doctors are told to be sure nobody is having a bad day. Everyone should feel good. Thus, there are drugs for every feeling:

• Drugs to calm you down
• Drugs to lift you up
• Drugs to comfort your sorrow
• Drugs to soothe your pain
• Happy pills to relieve depression
• Drugs to make you sleep
• Drugs to wake you up
• Drugs to calm your fears
• Drugs to relieve anxiety

Drugs are virtual reality. Sleeping pills knock you out and make you unconscious, but do not give you rest. Caffeine can pick you up and allow you to pretend you are awake, but you are still half-asleep all day; it’s not real. Thus, most people in the world are half-asleep all day, and half-awake all night. In reality, they are dead — Zombies.

The idea that people should not feel pain, sorrow, grief, or suffering is completely misguided. We need to feel every human experience. Life is in the experience of it. Going through life sitting on a couch watching others have virtual, made-up, and fake experiences is not living. It is death. As virtual reality becomes more common, there are more zombies in the world. Their world is not real. They live in a fantasy. There is nothing there to experience for real. It is in the struggle that life is found. Life comes from the extremities. Hot and cold. Sorrow and joy. Pain and pleasure. Light and dark. Awake and asleep. Work and rest. If all we ever experience is peace, rest, happiness, and comfort, then we are always lukewarm, not living life.

Spiritual life is filled with imitations. Many say there is no such thing as a spirit because you can take psychedelic drugs and simulate a spiritual epiphany. They don’t know the difference between the counterfeit and reality. The experience of knowing God is not the same as taking a drug. I don’t want the drug. I want to know God. Eating a lollipop when you really hungry is not the same as having a steak dinner. The candy is like a virtual meal, it has flavor and calories, but without substance. It does not satisfy the hunger. The candy is one-dimensional, giving a semblance of being able to satisfy, but without anything substantial. I don’t want candy, I want real food. I don’t want Disneyland, “The Happiest Place on Earth,” with its perfectly-groomed lawns and actors with perfect smiles painted-on. I want real happiness. I only want real experiences.

• I don’t want the virtual.
• I’m not interested in partial.
• I don’t like staged experiences.
• I want what is real.
• I want to feel real pain, grief and sorrow.
• I want to experience true love, joy and happiness.
• I want to know reality on an intimate level, the highs and the lows.

WHAT IS REAL?

Family is real. Blood is thicker than water. We maintain a relationship with family because they are family, not because we like them. We can be real with family, there is no pretense, no need to impress, no airs or facing. It is real. You know all their faults and weaknesses. You know and you are known, being accepted as you are.

A marriage is real. There is a real person to whom you are committed, and must learn to love entirely to become one.

Children are real. The baby needs. Parents learn true love by getting outside of themselves, sacrificing for their child.

Business is real. You must produce something that others want, requiring you to think of other people, and what they want.

Injuries are real. Blood, broken bones, and pain are real. Living can be painful sometimes.

Illness is real. People get sick. Those who are trying to avoid illness, will be zombies, which never get sick.

Grief is real. Loss is a part of life. All who live life will experience loss of what they love the most, and know grief first-hand. Some people say their parents tell them life isn’t fair. My mom used to tell me: Life is perfectly fair, sooner or later it breaks everyone’s heart.

Evil is real. There are people who are bent on the destruction of others, who only think of themselves at the expense of others.

God is real. All that exists allows us to see God.

The Holy Ghost is real, the Comforter is so much more rich and fulfilling than drugs for comfort.

Joy is real. Those who are willing to make sacrifices will experience pain, and joy. Having children is a great example of knowing pain, and joy.

My mom told me that God does not want us to have good experiences, He wants us to sacrifice what we think is good so we can have the best. Virtual experiences are good, but real experiences are the best. After seeing pictures of the Parthenon in Greece for many years, I finally went to visit. The experience of being there was so much different than seeing pictures and even movies. It was awesome! It filled me with awe!

BE REAL

• Turn off the TV.
• Put away the VR set.
• Avoid theme parks.
• Stop gaming.
• Don’t eat candy, or pastries.
• Stay away from processed foods.
• Shelve the fantasy novels.
• Ditch social media.
• Shun watching sports.
• Be there for others, in person, hang-out, talk.
• Hug everyone.
• Get married.
• Stay married.
• Have children.
• Love your children.
• Play sports.
• Learn to play the piano.
• Take care of your aging parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles.
• Create or work in a business that provides real goods and services (not drugs, ha ha!).
• Learn languages and experience cultures.
• Ask about the beliefs and ideas of others.
• Learn a new skill.
• Eat nourishing food, learn to cook real, living food.
• Seek God, truth, reality, and ye shall find.
• Ask God for wisdom, and it shall be given.
• Knock on Heaven’s door frequently, and it shall be opened.

Why reject tasty junk food? So you can live a healthy life.

Why give up porn? So you can have real intimacy.

Why sacrifice video games? So you can have energy.

Why give up coffee? So you can be fully awake.

Why fast? So you can have a clean spirit and body.

Why go to bed early? So your body can rejuvenate.

Why get married? So you can have a real relationship.

Why have children? So you can grow up with them.

Why sacrifice the things of the world? So you can know God.

The best experiences are available to everyone who is willing to make the sacrifice of the things they like, want, and need.

DON’T BE SAFE

Anyone who tells you to be safe does not care about your life. The purpose of life is to have the best, to be your best, to live and learn and grow. There is so much good that can be done in the world, there is no excuse for living a virtual life, or being a zombie. Zombies are safe. Those who are dead only watch others live life. They watch videos of people crashing on their One Wheels, laughing at people who are living life. They pretend to live through virtual means. Their activities are virtual, their entertainment is virtual, their exercise is virtual, their relationships are virtual, their intimacy is virtual, their fun is virtual — they only pretend to live, but they are safe.

Those who live life are not safe. Rich came into my office one day with full protection gear on — helmet, wrist braces, elbow pads and knee pads. It was surprising to me because I knew him to be a conservative man in his 60s. “Are you riding around on a skateboard these days?” I asked. He explained that he got a One Wheel motorized skateboard and goes everywhere on it. “You’re going to fall, so it’s important to wear protection.” In spite of the “protection” he showed me his injuries and scars from falling. “It’s a great way to get around town, I go all over Santa Barbara and Goleta on my One Wheel!” He continues to ride it in spite of the danger (or, perhaps, because of it!) knowing he is going to fall, protecting himself as best he can, while still living life. This is real. He will have great balance when he’s a hundred years old because he rides a One Wheel around instead of driving a car.

Life is taking chances. Jump in. Don’t even think about it, “Just Do It!” Life is to be lived blindly. You never know until you try. You cannot understand before you experience it, so just go for it, experience it, do something real, try something unsafe. Safety is death. Climb a mountain. Take up a new sport. Open that restaurant you’ve always wanted to do. Odds are good that it will fail within five years. It’s not safe, but you will learn, especially when you fail. The point is not to be stupid, but rather to stop shrinking into the safety of your virtual, pretend world. Get out and do something! By taking chances, your life will become real, and you will be real.