How To Be A Healthy Caregiver

As the American population ages, more and more people each year will be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia. Already, there are more than 5 million Americans suffering with Alzheimer’s. The care of these aging individuals falls mostly on the shoulders of their family, and some friends, through the winding maze of this disease, sometimes without ever finding the exit out. Eleven million people are providing unpaid care to support Alzheimer’s patients; care that takes an emotional, physical, and financial toll on family caregivers.

According to a study from New York University:

• Caregivers are twice as likely as non-caregivers to report physical and mental health complications.
• One in three caregivers use medication for caregiving-related health problems.
• Depression among caregivers is three times greater than for non-caregivers in their age group.

If the mind maze of Alzheimer’s wasn’t difficult enough, the stress and toll of caregivers is another layer of the puzzle on top of an already crooked path.

Another study compared the healing process of caregivers and non-caregivers. The two groups were given identical wounds. Caregiver’s wounds took up to 24% longer to heal than non-caregivers. Their immune systems were too stressed to function efficiently.

The stress pile on one caregiver can be daunting. Yet, they keep doing and doing and doing. They keep caring for others and ignoring their own needs. The mantra repeats, “I can do this one more day. Just one more day. And one more day.” Until, after years of self-neglect, caregivers discover the breast lump or have a heart attack or stroke. Then, the elders they are caring for need to go into a nursing home, because those crucial to their survival and health can’t be there for them. Worse, they are left alone to adjust without stable care they rely on because their caregivers are just too ill.

Not All Spouses Can Be Good Caregivers

If you are caregiving for a spouse with Alzheimer’s, the emotional pain can reach extreme levels. It may have nothing to do with the love you have for your spouse, but you may find yourself married to someone with the strain of dementia and an altered personality who is effectively not your husband or wife.

Allow the grieving process over the loss of a soul mate to take its course.  Consider seeking outside help to relieve yourself of the caregiving duties, either hire-in help or arrange for assisted living. Consider this as a gift to oneself and the spouse, as well as avoiding any potential elder abuse out of anger.  Love may never die, but facing a future together may now look different when one is caregiving for an aging Alzheimer’s patient.

Sibling Responsibilities

If you have siblings and are caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s, are you shutting them out to prove to you are the best at caregiving or the only one qualified?  Welcome help and specifically tell them what you need.  Give them the chance to help and realize family dynamics are always at play when taking care of aging parents and Alzheimer’s patients.

With Alzheimer’s Disease Life Changes, But Love Does Not

The National Family Caregiver Support Program (NFCSP) can offer respite care for caregivers – even to sobbing phone callers! J  Established in 2000, the National Family Caregiver Support Program is administered differently in each state, through Federal funding work and community based services to provide coordinated support for caregivers and their family.

To take advantage of this program, go to your state’s website and look under “aging services,” which should be able to connect you with the right agency or respite care service.  Stay sane and don’t let the support go to waste!  After all, it is part of your tax payments!

Learn to stand up for yourself; talk to friends and tell your story at a support group.  Listening to others share their story can help detach from your own stress and help to take time off a bit so isn’t just a matter of survival.

It’s far easier to say than to do, but caregivers must practice self-care. Because what happens to children “Jon and Meg,” and parents Mom and Dad if your health collapses? Health problems, including depression, are rampant among caregivers and thirty percent of our caregivers die before the people they are caring for. Thirty percent! Don’t be a statistic. Practice self-care.